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There Will Be Shrieks/Transcript
Part 1 starts with the title card song, then the Fanlair. A bat flies by, indicating it's Halloween Narrator: This is a tale of two boys who just couldn't wait for... to the inside Fanboy: Halloween! Chum Chum: Halloween! Fanboy: It's finally... Fanboy and Chum Chum: Halloween! Yaaaaaaay! Fanboy: Okay, Chum Chum. This year is gonna be the most candylicious Halloween EVER! Chum Chum: Hehe, I love candy! Fanboy: Yes, but to get candy, we need... Chum snickers excitedly, then Fanboy pops up behind him in a Frankenstein costume Fanboy: COSTUMES, AH! Tada! Chum Chum: laughter Ooh, that's nice. My turn! then comes back dressed as Fanboy Trick or treat! Fanboy: Huh? Wait a minute. Didn't you wear this costume last year? Chum Chum: Yep, but this isn't my costume. head flap of the Fanboy costume opens up and Chum Chum pops out. He is dressed as a werewolf. Fanboy screams Chum Chum: THIS IS!!! YAH, RAWWWR! Fanboy: Perfect, Chum Chum! Chum giggles, then both boys have their empty pails ready Fanboy: This year, we're coming home with nothing but candy! Fanboy and Chum Chum: LET'S TRICK-OR-TREAT! slap hands to the school. There is a doorbell ring followed by a knock and Hank opens the door to reveal Fanboy and Chum Chum, who greet him Fanboy: Triiick oooor treeeeeat. Chum Chum: Trick or tooooooooooooooooooooreat! Hank: Eh, "trick or treat"? yawns IT'S 6:00 IN THE MORNING!!! door shut Fanboy: Really? Is it that early? sun comes up, followed by sprinklers starting up. Cheech rides by on a bike Cheech: Morning paper! a newspaper in Fanboy's face Fanboy: Oh, I guess it is. Chum Chum: howls I'll never make it til tonight. and howls Fanboy: There's gotta be a place where we can trick-or-treat this early. A place that has tons of candy. That's open all the time. And they can't close the door in our faces. to outside the Frosty Mart Fanboy and Chum Chum: The Frosty Mart! doors open Fanboy and Chum Chum: Trick or -- doors close on them, literally Our faces. Fanboy: Leonard Flynn-Boyle, what is the meaning of this? walks by with a ghost detector, a la Ghostbusters Lenny: We're closed for paranormal activity! F&C in, who flop to the ground You know, ghosts? It's part of the Frosty Mart's Halloween promotion for Frosty Screamy Scream, but Boog let it out of its display cup! to what Lenny described. Boog is holding a glowing cup Boog: Hehe, Frosty Screamy -- the cup releasing the ghost AAAAAHHHHH! of flashback Lenny: He's been a wreck ever since. Boog: moaning Fanboy: Hoho Lenny. We ain't afraid of no ghost! So, if you don't mind, we're just gonna help ourselves to some Halloween candy. and Chum Chum walk into the isles Lenny: Help yourself to some -- HEY! Boog: AHHHH! Lenny's hair, leaving a hole Lenny: AHHHHHHHH! Ow! Boog: Oops, my bad. walk through the isles. Candy is levitating everywhere Fanboy: Trick or treat. Chum Chum: Treat! Fanboy: Let's see. candy from the shelf Oh! A couple of these, one or two of those, some of these, got to have these -- well! That should hold us over til tonight! sees Chum Chum's pail glowing and rumbling Wow, Chum Chum! Looks like your pail's about to explode! Chum Chum: But -- I haven't put anything in it yet. Fanboy: Huh? Then what's in your -- Frosty Screamy Scream ghost bursts out of the pail! Fanboy and Chum Chum: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Fanboy: Chum Chum, was that the -- ghost materializes behind them Fanboy and Chum Chum: G-g-g-g-g-g- ghost charges at them Fanboy and Chum Chum: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! freeze covers the screen. As it goes away, F&C run out of the mart covered with the same blue freeze from the ghost Fanboy and Chum Chum: panting WE'LL COME BACK LATER!!! Lenny: the ghost hiding in the hole in his hair Huh? ghost giggles, then comes out of hiding and drags Lenny away Lenny: AAAAAHHHHH!!! Boog! Boog! Help meeeeeeee! Boog: lasers I'm coming for you, Lenny! doors close to Fanboy and Chum Chum heading for Oz Comix Fanboy: Oz just might be our last hope, Chum. knock on the door Fanboy and Chum Chum: Trick or treat! opens the door and peeks out. His eyes are bloodshot and has a 5:00 shadow Oz: Hey, guys. You weren't followed here, were you? stare at each other confused Fanboy: No. Oz: Seriously? Fanboy: Seriously. Oz: Seriously? Fanboy: Seriously. Oz: Seriously? stare at each other again Hank: the distance THEY SAID, "SERIOUSLY"! Oz: Well, good! Come on in, I made some cereal. them inside to inside hums and pours his cereal Fanboy: So, we were wondering, we know it's only seven in the morning, but would you happen to have any candy? Oz: eats cereal Oooooh. I did, but I just drink of the last of it over my cereal. giggles 'Cause I'm gonna need a serious amount of energy to finish... over to a shelf THIS! remote, revealing a boat made out of candy, then imitates a presentation sting Fanboy: Whoa! What is that?! Candy Oz: Last night, I had a vision. to last night with Oz in bed Oz: crunching Dream voice: Ozwald. Ozwald! You have to build a Candy Ark! Then, gather two of every type of candy. For Halloween is nig'! And you really like candy. Oz: giggling of flashback Oz: Amen. Fanboy: Yes! Raise the anchor and set sail for candy! Oz: Sorry, boys. She still needs to be painted. Otherwise, that saltwater taffy'll eat right through her hull. Chum Chum: a candy bar BUT I NEED CANDY NOW!!! Oz: Uh, Chum Chum? Those are just foamcore. Chum Chum: Foamcore with peanuts? Oz: No. Chum spits the chocolate and gags Oz: You need candy right now, huh? Alas! I cannot help you! HOWEVER -- there is one place -- NO! I dare not! It is too dangerous! Fanboy and Chum Chum: What?! What place?! Tell us!!! Oz: Legend speaks of a mysterious place that gives out candy all day. Every day of the year. A place called... strikes That place! to a house that looks like a jack o' lantern Fanboy: Huh. Do not know how we missed that. Oz: HOWEVER, legend also speaks of a strange being there who tricks unsuspecting children in ways so devious and dastardly that -- over and notived F&C left Fanboy and Chum Chum: the distance CANDYYYYYYYY!!! Oz: Guys, gu -- WHATEVER! to the jack o' lantern house. F&C are walking up door, pails in hand Fanboy: This is it, Chum Chum. Get your pail ready. doorbell, bats fly out I got a really good feeling about this. on the door, but no answer. Rings the doorbell again Hello? Trick or treat! Got empty pails here! door creaks open. Out peeks a pumpkin monster, Mr. Trick, who's face is literally fogging Mr. Trick: GO AWAY! Fanboy and Chum Chum: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! continues Mr. Trick: down, realizing something Oops. Sorry, wrong face. to another face, the one that isn't fogging There. That's a lot less scary, now, isn't it? continue to scream, then it dies down Fanboy: So, we hear you have candy? Mr. Trick: Oh, hoho, it's candy you seek. Well, you've come to the right place. Come in, come in! Fanboy and Chum Chum: giggling Jackpot! they do this, Mr. Trick switches back to the foggy face and lets out an evil laughter as he closes the doors. Thunder goes off Inside... Fanboy: I can't believe we never noticed this giant pumpkin head house! Chum Chum: I can't believe anything, ever! Fanboy: his feet You hear that squish? That's genuine pumpkin guts, Chum Chum. And all this time, we've been walking around on solid floors like suckers. Chum Chum: I love this house. a wall It looks like Halloween, but it tastes like Thanksgiving. Mr. Trick: So, we like tasting things, do we? Fanboy and Chum Chum: Uh-huh! Mm-hmm! giggling Mr. Trick: Well, I'm known to be...the "candy man" of this town. laughter Fanboy: The candy man! laughter Mr. Trick: Yes, the candy man! laughter Chum Chum: The candy man! laughter Mr. Trick: Yes. The candy man. stare menacingly, imitating him for a moment Fanboy: Great! So, where's our candy, candy man? Trick grabs them Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp Mr. Trick: Well, I have a trick. I mean, a treat for you. giggle Mr. Trick: curtains, revealing shelves of candy Well, go ahead, boys! It's all yours! Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp Candy!!! montage of the boys having fun with their candy begins (Song: C-A-N-D-Y) Fanboy and Chum Chum: offscreen I...love...C-A-N-D-Y, C-A-N-D-Y C-A-N-D-Y, candy! I love the blue ones, the green ones, the red ones, the pink ones The yellow ones, the brown ones, I love candy! Stretchy ones, curly ones, chewy ones, sticky ones Give me candy!!! C-A-N-D-Y, C-A-N-D-Y C-A-N-D-Y, it's candy! I'm gonna run around and chew around And it feels good and I'll lick it on down Come and take a trip at a tasty town, it's candy!!! I love the blue ones, the green ones, the yellow ones, the pink ones I love candy!!! C-A-N-D-Y, C-A-N-D-Y C-A-N-D-Y, candy, candy, candy...candy! to black. Fade up again to show Fanboy groaning. Zoom out to show an overstuffed Fanboy and Chum Chum lying on a pile of candy. Mr. Trick arrives, holding a covered plate Mr. Trick: Oh boys, you're not finished! Fanboy: Ohhhhhh, I can't eat another piece of candy. head flap pops open, spilling candy out. He moans Chum Chum: cheery Until trick-or-treating! Fanboy: Oh, right. Trick-or-treating. groan once more Mr. Trick: Oh, but I saved the best, for last. Huh? this dialogue, He removes the lid and there stood two floating blue gumballs. They are glowing and F&C's reflections are reflected in them Fanboy: Eh, that's it? Mr. Trick: Now, now, these are no ordinary candies. Their indescribably delicious. You have my word as a candyman: Once you taste this candy, you'll never taste any other candy again. Hmm? Fanboy: Well, I guess one more couldn't hurt! Trick flicks the gumballs into F&C's mouthes. they chew it Fanboy: Hmm. Good mouth feel, kinda crunchy, strongly mummy. Not getting much in the flavor department. Chum Chum: Funny. I can't taste it at all. smacks his lips. Suddenly, a purple mist starts spouting up from his tongue Fanboy: Uh, what's coming out of my mouth?! similar mist, but in orange, spouts up from Chum Chum's tongue Chum Chum: Ehh -- it feels my taste buds are popping! Mr. Trick: up a jar for the tastes Come to me. Come. Come. mists fly into the jar Mr. Trick: Yes. Yes! the jar Your taste is mine! Fanboy: What are you talking about? Mr. Trick: I took your taste! Fanboy: Bu -- but -- Mr. Trick: I told you! Once you taste this candy, you'll never taste candy...AGAIN. laughter, face fogs Chum Chum: We -- have no taste?!? Fanboy: No! sobs No, it cannot be! goes over to a giant lollipop and licks it Fanboy: Nothing! Chum licks a chocolate bar and slaps his face with his tongue Chum Chum: Nothing! puts a toilet on his head and licks it Fanboy: then throws toilet away Uhhhh, okay. That I tasted. Mr. Trick So...it's just...candy, then? Mr. Trick: Yes. Afraid so. a moment, F&C stare at each other, speechless. Then... Fanboy and Chum Chum: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! in in the inside of Fanboy's mouth and fade to black Part 2 Narrator: And now, back to our tasteless tale. Mr. Trick has closed the curtains Chum Chum: What's the big idea taking our taste, you rotten pumpkin? Fanboy: Yeah! Why'd you have to ruin treats for us? Mr. Trick: Treats? Treats? Treats? That's all anyone thinks about! What happened to tricks? I remember a time when people chose between trick or treat. I tell them to smell my feet, give me something good to eat. And if they didn't, I wouldn't care, I'd pull out their underwear. laughter Fanboy: Is that all you want? Underwear-based tricks? You are speaking our language. Chum Chum's underwear, and a bear pops out Huh? See? We got a million of em! go Mr. Trick: I'm glad to hear that, because you're going to need them. Chum Chum: Whaddya mean? Mr. Trick: a special jar in front of them You're to fill this jar with a thousand screams by sundown. Only then, can you have your taste back. Fanboy: the jar A thousand screams? Pth. No problemo! Whoop! throws the jar Mr. Trick: Careful with the jar! jar breaks AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! Fanboy: Ooh! Chum Chum That would've been a good scream for the jar. Mr. Trick: Huh! Fanboy: Uhh, anyone using that mystical scream cooler? at a cooler next to the organ Trick growls and Chum Chum are going down the stairs with the cooler Chum Chum: A thousand screams? We'll never be able to trick that many houses by sundown. Fanboy: If only there was a way to bring hoards of people to our house, and trick them into thinking it was -- I don't know. Haunted, or something. Chum Chum: You mean...make a haunted house? stops walking and the cooler rolls to the bottom of the staircase over him Fanboy: gasp Chum Chum! That's genus! I can practically hear the pants being peed! dashes off. Chum Chum follows him to the outside of Kyle's house. Zoom in to the window until we reach the living room, where Kyle sees a book on a shelf Kyle: Ooh! This looks good. a book "The Illustrated Guide to Horrible Creatures". book, then F&C pop out! '' '''Fanboy and Chum Chum:' Hey, Kyle! Kyle: Ahh! Fanboy: Geeze, give us a little warning on the screaming next time. We got a cooler to fill. Kyle: What the devil are you talking about? Fanboy: Chum Chum and I are gonna build a really scary haunted house, so we can scare every kid in town. It's gonna be grumbles soooooper scary! Chum Chum: Yeah! We're gonna spaghetti for worms, and peel grapes for eyeballs! Kyle: Ew. Chum Chum: We were wondering: You got any spaghetti worms or grape eyeballs? Kyle: his eyes Uhh, noooo. But I do have -- REAL eyeballs. the pause, we pan over to a jar with eyeballs in it on the shelf Chum Chum: the jar Ooooh! Fanboy, look! jar and puts it on head This will be perfect for holding the grapes. Fanboy: Great! Now, what will evoke more screams of terror: spaghettini or bowtie pasta? I'm on offense. Kyle: Oh, please! The only reaction you two could evoke are cries of boredom. Zing! Fanboy: Are you saying you have a better idea than shows hot dogs attached to his fingers and wiggles them creepily hot dog fingers, with ketchup blood? Kyle: Urrrrgh. Necronomicon As a matter of fact... F&C I do! smiles some sort of wicked idea grin as the scene dissolves to the window. Thunder goes off, and Necronomicon appears. Below him is a table with Yo, Duke and Lupe on one side, and Fanboy, Chum Chum, Chuggy and Fankylechum on the other. At the far end between Yo and Fanboy is a chair where Kyle will be sitting Necronomicon: Welcome, dear boys and girls, to a special matinee performance of "Spirits From Beyond"! A seance in three acts. And now, your seance master: Kyle, the Conjurer! a burst of light and smoke, Kyle appears in his chair. For a moment he is holding his cape up, but then he lets it go and keeps his arms raised, proudly Chum Chum: Yay! Kyle: the camera Shall we begin? sweetly, lowly Let us all join hands. Fanboy: whispering Hey, Kyle? If we're holding hands, how are they gonna fill the spaghetti and grapes? he says this, he holds up bowls of spaghetti and grapes Kyle: the spaghetti away ENOUGH WITH THE SPAGHETTI AND GRAPES! groans takes Fanboy's hand, and they both hold the other hands off camera. Fanboy has some sort of shocked expression as he and Kyle are doing this Kyle: Oh, powerful spirits from beyond. We who are among the living, who humbly implore, and invite you to -- scratch as Fanboy interrupts Fanboy: Ahem. Uh, Kyle? We're kinda on a time crunch here? Kyle: Oh, very well! eyes roll over to blank white sockets and a dark green aura shines within him as the lights dim Kyle: Demon from the depths of the underworld, I summon thee! I SUMMON THEE!!! table starts to burst open in the middle Fanboy and Chum Chum: with fright Chum Chum: My grapes! grapes fall into the lava in the open spot on the table big, scary creature rises up out of the lava in the table and roars. This is a balhok, and it's helping everyone scream hard enough. As they scream, their eyes roll over to blank white sockets and ghost duplicates of them come out of their mouths Yo/Duke/Lupe: AHHHHHHHHH!!! screams bailhok screams at Fankylechum and Chuggy Fankylechum/Chris Chuggy: AHHHHHHHHH!!! screams on Kyle, eyes back to normal holding his wand upward while it glows Kyle: There you are, a complete set of genuine screams of terror. Collect them all! F&C WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I told you: Do not! Look! Directly! At! The bailhok! he says this, pan over to Fanboy and Chum Chum, who are also screaming at the bailhok. Pan upwards to show their screams, who are enjoying it Fanboy's scream: We couldn't help it! Chum Chum's scream: It's so awesomely scary! Kyle: Well, hurry and collect your screams! I can't summon him forever!!! Fanboy's scream: Okay! Okay! screams float over to the cooler. They try to open it but fail since they're made of air Fanboy's scream: Ah, it won't open! We're too ethereal! on Kyle, still holding his wand up while gasping and panting. He runs out of energy and thrusts his wand back as his wand stops glowing. The bailhok returns to the lava in the table and the table closes up. All the screams return to their body forms, and their eyes return to normal. F&C's screams retreat as well. For a moment, all is silent. Then... Kids: Yay! That was awesome! start to leave Fanboy: W-w-w-wait! Where's everybody going?! Don't leave! Uh, don't you wanna scream some more? Chum Chum Chum Chum, quick! Get the grapes! Chum Chum: NOW THE EVIL PUMPKIN GUY WILL NEVER GIVE US OUR TASTE BACK!!! Kyle: Who? Fanboy: It's no one, Kyle. Just an evil jack o' lantern who used magical candy to steal our taste and magically put it in a magic jar. Chum Chum: sticks out his claws You wouldn't understand. Fanboy: Come on, Chum Chum. Chum Chum on the cooler It's time to pay the magical pumpkin piper. Chum wimpers as he and Fanboy leave. Kyle is suspicious Kyle: Hmmph! 'Magical Pumpkin Man'? Well, this town's not big enough for two practitioners of the Dark Arts. snickers Mr. Trick's house... Mr. Trick: Did you get the screams? Let me see, let me see! cooler, then pulls out a slice of turkey Ah! Huh? THESE AREN'T SCREAMS! IT'S SLICED TURKEY! Fanboy: We were gonna have a picnic when we got our taste ba-ha-ha-ha-ack. cries Chum Chum: and cries Trick begins to roar at them and they scream, but before he could, Kyle appears behind him, holding his cape up while flying in a green aura Kyle: So! You think you could come to MY town and cast a spell on MY two idiots?!? Fanboy: sweating Kyle...what are you doing? Kyle: I -- am the most powerful wizard in town! Mr. Trick So, heed my warning: Give these boys back their taste! Or face the wrath...of KYLE, THE CONJURER!!! Chum Chum: You're just making him angry... Kyle: mockingly Oh, really? Is that your angry face? Fanboy: No. This is. Mr. Tricks' head around to show Kyle the foggy face. It has octopus tentacles and bugs, a la Beetlejuice Kyle: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! the above, Kyle screams so hard that the second time and every other after that, he releases a scream. He runs around Mr. Trick's house, screaming like crazy. F&C brighten up as they are remembering something Fanboy and Chum Chum: Huh? Ah! continues screaming and running everywhere. Chum Chum tosses Kyle's screams into the cooler Fanboy: One! Two! Three! Four, five, six... switches to late that night. Kyle is still screaming as Fanboy gets the last few into the cooler Fanboy: Nine hundred ninety seven... screams nine hundred ninety eight... Kyle pants and screams nine hundred ninety nine... screams one thousand! Yay, Kyle! You did it! is in a serious coma Kyle: sigh Oh, so very scared. bulge Ah. Fanboy: Mr. Trick Here you go! One thousand screams, as promised. Mr. Trick: And just in time. the jar with F&C's tastes in it Here's your taste back. takes the jar Fanboy: Our taste! I've missed you so much. Chum Chum: I'm gonna lick everything in sight. tongue around Fanboy: So uh, what do you need those screams for, anyway? Mr. Trick: Kyle away and removes a rug, revealing a hole in the floor It's very simple, really. These screams power a vortex that will suck in and destroy all the treats in the world. Fanboy: Uh-huh. Well, good luck with that. Chum Chum Come on, Chum Chum, let's go trick-or- -- wait a minute. If all the treats are destroyed, then what are we going to taste? Mr. Trick: Not my problem. Trick cackles as he dumps the screams into the hole. A big green gush of smoke spurts upward. Fanboy and Chum Chum are very upset at Kyle for helping them now Fanboy: Ahh! Kyle! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!? Chum Chum: We told you this was over your head! kicks Kyle out of the house Mr. Trick: Yes. Oh ho ho, yes! Oh ho ho! YES! smoke stops gushing Fanboy: Oh, that can't be good. Trick laughs evily as a green vortex activates and rises out of the hole. Items start to fly everywhere, a la The Sorcerer's Apprentice Fanboy and Chum Chum: Dah! wimper Mr. Trick: laughter AND ONCE EVERY TREAT IS GONE, HALLOWEEN WILL ONCE AGAIN BE ONLY FOR TRICKS! laughter vortex rises out of the roof and begins sucking in the candy from every trick-or-treater in town Yo/Lupe: gasp Duke/Nancy: gasp inside... Fanboy: Oh, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen and I can't even enjoy it! If only he'd love candy as much as we do, he could never destroy it. Chum Chum: But nobody loves the sweet taste of candy as much as us! Fanboy: gasp You're right! onto Mr. Trick's back with jar of taste in hand Mr. Trick: Ah! What are you doing? Fanboy: Eat my taste, pumpkin face! jar and dumps taste into Mr. Trick's mouth Mr. Trick: jar out Oh, what's going on?! Why do I suddenly want...CANDY? to eat the candy in the vortex So crunchy? So... mouth with candy munchy? I never knew candy could be so delicious! Wait -- what's happening to me? Necronomicon: narrating And what happened next, a miracle they say. Mr. Trick's pumpkin head grew two smiles that day! Mr. Trick: Oh, boys! You put a smile on both my faces! How can I ever thank you? Fanboy: Uhhh, you can quit hogging over taste for starters. Mr. Trick: Oh, I'm sorry. Here you are. spits out two gumballs -- one purple, one orange. F&C taste them Chum Chum: His spit! It tastes like...like...pumpkin pie! Fanboy: Chum Chum, we have our taste back! Mr. Trick: sadly Yes, but everything worth tasting is going down that hole. vortex sucks in the last few candies. Suddenly... Oz: the distance HEY, YOU GUYS! laughing flies into the house on his now finished Candy Ark and plugs up the hole Fanboy: Oz! You came! Oz: the ground I did it! I gathered two of every type of candy! And it's all safe inside my glorious Candy Ark! Heh. Fanboy: Um, Oz? Why is your glorious Candy Ark rumbling? Oz: Oh, no. It sounds like my two of every Minty O's are mixing with my two of every diet cola! Mr. Trick: She's gonna blow! rainbow geyser bursts out of the house, raining candy Lupe: laughing Yo: Wow! Duke/Nancy/Chuggy/Michael: laughing at Mr. Trick's house, Mr. Trick leads Fanboy, Chum Chum and Oz out Oz: sadly My candy! My beautiful symmetrical candy. Fanboy: Cheer up, Oz. You saved Halloween! Mr. Trick: out a plate of candy How about a treat, boys? Fanboy and Chum Chum: Candy! take a handful and chew Mr. Trick: Smile! smile, revealing that their teeth turned pink from the candy Mr. Trick: the camera They don't call me Mr. Trick for nothing! three smile at the camera Fanboy and Chum Chum: giggling Category:Transcripts